Multivitamin
Probiotic - reinforces the intestinal flora balance and boosts the immune system
DHA Purity (vegan omega 3) - beneficial omega–3 fatty acids, plays a crucial role in brain function,
                              reduces risk of heart disease, reduces inflammation and risk of chronic diseases
Vitamin D3 - promotes the absorption of calcium, boosts immune system, builds bone
Calcium with magnesium + Vit. D3 - all need to be taken together in order to absorb the calcuim,
                              promotes bone health and growth
Alpha Lipoic Acid - antioxidant, converts glucose to energy, boosts immune system

This past year has been my healthiest since my diagnosis.  I have been very consistent with my supplements and have had my D3 monitored regularly, maintaining it at a level of around 60.  I had one cold this past winter that was my mildest one I’ve had.  Hope this helps.

“Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped.” Phil. 2:6

Today this verse stood out to me more than ever before.  Can you imagine?  Jesus was by nature God but He didn’t even consider being equal to Him when he lived on earth?  When he came to walk with man He denied all rights, privileges and benefits of being God.  He chose to spend his life serving others rather than being served himself.  He wasn’t prideful of his heritage, didn’t walk around bragging about the benefits of being of God…but rather took on man’s identity and all that encompasses it…He submitted to God the Father.

What is my attitude to look like as a follower of Christ?  It is to look like His.  This means surrendering my rights.  I can’t serve others if my rights take precedence in any part of my life.  If Christ can deny the pride of who he was, (being equal with God) while on earth, then I can surely deny my rights as a sinner saved by grace. 

But why is this so hard?  I was convicted of this because I find myself feeling like I have a lot of rights concerning my health especially.  “I deserve to live a long life, feeling well and active…I deserve to watch my kids grow up and marry…I deserve to find the best doctors and treatments…”  Of course I’d love to have these things but Christ would probably have loved to use His “rights as God” while on earth…But out of humility he chose to relate to man, to serve others and surrender to God’s will over his own. 

“...in humility, consider others better than yourselves.”  Phil. 2:3

What is it?  According to the dictionary, fear is to be afraid or feel anxious or apprehensive about a possible or probable situation or event.  Basically living in a mental state of “what if”.  This is what my mental state had become.  And where did it leave me?  In a place of self focus, self centeredness and distant from the very creator of my being.  Fear is the opposite of faith.  When I was reading through some of the definitions I came across one mans description of fear and it was, “The whole secret of existence is to have no fear.”  At first I thought, “No it’s not, the secret is to know and love Jesus.”  But then as I thought about it, really, it’s true.  Knowing and loving Jesus requires faith and fear is the opposite of faith.  So existing without fear is existing in faith…the secret to existing for HIm… believing in Jesus, who He is and believing in what He can and will do to bring Himself glory. 

Over the past year I’ve come to the realization that those that have not walked through chronic pain and illness cannot empathize with those that have.  Accepting this has allowed me to let go of my expectations of others…I say this because those that have not sat through a few months of medical appointments like I just have wouldn’t have the experience of understanding where this fear comes from. Over the past few months I’ve been told I need to take my poisonous medication (which causes heart attacks and cancer), I’m heading into premature ovarian failure, my bones are becoming brittle and I need to think about osteoporosis medication, I need to have a mammogram and skin exam to get a baseline because of my risk of cancer (from the meds), I need to start seeing a cardiologist in case I begin to experience signs of a heart attack…I’m 33!  As I write this I am laughing, it has become quite humorous!  It is so over the top to me that all I can do is laugh at this point.  All this is falling on the ears of someone who feels great, experiencing no symptoms of anything! 

So from the worlds stand point, I have a good excuse for camping out in fear all day long.  And there are times when I do and the immediate result of this is distance from my God and that makes me sad.  At these moments I plead to experience His presence again but fear and faith cannot co-exist. For me, walking in faith at times is a choice regardless of how I feel. 

I know circumstances don’t define who we are or determine if or when God will use us.  But fear of these circumstances will keep us from experiencing life with Christ and the freedom we can have in Him. 

Doctors can instill a tremendous amount of fear in a sick person.  But they are man.  The do not know what my God knows.  Nor can they do what my God can do. 
They are physicians but my God is the Great Physician.

“Thou they slay me, yet will I trust Him.”  Job 1:4-5

Transparency scares me.  There’s a real vulnerability that comes with it.  It’s a hard trait to expose if you’re a people pleaser or struggle with being concerned with what others think of or about you.  However, as I was reading the definition of the word, it took away the hesitation inside me. 

Transparent - allowing light to pass through, transmitting light, able to be seen through with clarity.

My desire is to surrender my life and my desires everyday so that I can be a vessel for Christ to use.  Christ is light. If I’m always being translucent (can’t be seen through clearly), Christ can’t be seen, given glory or recognized for all that He is.  Transparency is part of being a follower of Jesus.  When I die to the fear of what I may look like,  His light can be seen.  My job…be real…and Christ is seen!!!  It takes my efforts out of it…and the result…He gets the glory!

Over the past month or so, despite my lack of writing on my site, I’ve continued to receive emails from people desperate to be released from the idol of what their disease has/can become so that they can live for Christ.  Paul was given a thorn in his side that God chose not to remove and that didn’t stop him from being the vessel God needed.  He learned to be content with the life God had chosen for him. But how do you do that, how do you get to that place?  I wish I had the answers.  But I don’t.  But I do know that His word says that we are to “deny ourselves, take up our cross and follow Him.”  In order to follow Him, the first step each day has to be to deny ourselves. 

So, all that to say, my site will be making a few changes.  My desire is to come along side others hurting and wanting to be freed from the mental anguish that a chronic illness can have on you.  If God chooses not to take illness from our earthly bodies, He hasn’t forgotten us or found us unfit for His use.  Sometimes I find it a privilege to have a daily reminder (my illness) that I’m not my own, that I was bought with a price and that my purpose in life is to join God’s work, not have Him meet me in mine. 

So, as often as I can, my site will be dedicated to sharing with you my journey, day to day, with Jesus.  As He speaks to me, I want to share with you.  As my hard days come, I will share those too.  God has work to do through us.  My life has been filtered through loving hands that are aware of everything that is going on.  I know that He didn’t allow all this for me to sit here and wait for the day to come when I’m healed. So this is me.  I’m learning and still being refined everyday.  I’m praying for you.

I serve every lunch with one of the above proteins, along with tons of raw veggies such as bell peppers, carrots, tomatoes, avocados, celery, snap peas.  I usually offer a fruit option towards the end as well.  Again, I try to make sure there’s protein, healthy fat and vegetables with all my lunches. Crackers or carb stuff is offered if all the other parts have been eaten and they’re still hunger. Hang in there and keep at it. My son never liked to drink water but I persisted enough and withheld diluting it with juice and now he drinks it no problem… it just took a while and it took me sticking to it. They eventually come around:) 

1. Thank the person who nominated you for this award. (Thank you Wendy for being my reader, probably one of the few, hence the nomination.)
2. Copy the logo and place it on your blog.
3. Link to the person who nominated you for this award. (Hagen Hoopla)
4. Name 7 things about yourself that people may not know. (see below)
5. Nominate Kreativ Bloggers.
* I hereby nominate Andrea Haddon at Healthy and Easy Recipes.  She does an amazing job of not only sharing recipes but gives step by step instructions for the things that most recipes leave out because they always assume that everyone is a Martha Stewart.  She meal plans and lists her grocery list for you for the weeks where you just don’t feel like thinking about planning…check out her website.
* I also herby nominate Lindsay Edmonds at Passionate Homemaking. Her website provides encouragement to young moms through her sharing on life, health, homemaking and her love for the Lord, serving her husband and children.
6. Post links to the blogs you nominate.
7. Leave a comment on each of the blogs letting them know they’ve been nominated.

Seven Things You May Not Know About Me:
1.  My husband and I just adopted our second son!
2.  I played competitive soccer when I was younger and traveled with a US team to Europe.
3.  I took my parents Jaguar out when they weren’t home before I turned 16 (my rebellious years).
4.  I had 14 teeth pulled at once, 6 which were permanent (pathetically small mouth).
5.  At age 20, Jesus promised me my disease would not take my life.
6.  I studied abroad in collage, living in Madrid Spain.
7.  My husband and I bought the house that I grew up in, so I’ve lived in this home since I was 2 years old (30 years total and counting).

Kids Breakfast Ideas- (I tend to just alternate through them on a weekly basis)
1.  Irish Oatmeal (Trader Joes) - Cook with almond milk or water, drizzle of aguave nectar, dash of
    vanilla and cinnamon, chunk of apple cut up real small and a small handful of raisins
    Bowl of fresh fruit and a few raw nuts
2.  Eggs (usually scrambled or poached) - Cooked with coconut oil
    Half piece whole grain toast
    Bowl of fresh fruit
3.  French Toast - Cooked with coconut oil,  100% organic maple syrup.  (Check recipe in recipe
    section.)
    Eggs
    Bowl of fresh fruit
4.  Cereal (usually some whole grain, low sugar one).  We allow a sugar cereal on Sat. or Sun.
    but when I say sugar cereal, I’m meaning a healthy cereal that just may have a little higher sugar
    content, like the Gorilla Munch or Honey Nut Cheerios from Trader Joes.
    Bowl of fresh fruit
5.  Hardboiled egg
    Bowl of fresh fruit
6.  Waffles or Pancakes (Made from scratch with Buckwheat flour or sometimes I get the brown rice
    frozen ones from Trader Joes for a rare “in a pinch” breakfast)
    Eggs
    Bowl of fresh fruit
7.  Trail Mix - raw almonds, cashews, walnuts and macadamia nuts, raisins or cranberries
    Bowl of fresh fruit
8.  Toast with raw almond butter and a low sugar jam or aguave nectar with cinnamon
    Bowl of fresh fruit

* Bowl of fresh fruit is substituted with a green smoothie as well.

Breakfast supplements:
Favorite Flora
Calcium with vitamin D (I break open an adult capsule and mix it in with a tablespoon of applesauce).  Our family eats very little dairy which is why I choose to supplement this vitamin.

Bottle line, as I’m making a meal for the kids I quickly look for protein, fat (complex carbs too but they are almost always present without trying) and fresh fruits or veggies at each meal. 

All that being said, many of you might think, “Eating like this takes so much more time”  or “My kid just won’t eat like this.” 
And in response to the first thought, my next few posts will consist of simple ideas for each meal and snacks.  In response to the second thought, this is where I dish out tough love. It’s like any other habit you have to break with little ones.  They will eventually eat, they will not starve.  First remove from your home (or at least your kitchen… my husband secretly hides a pack of Oreo’s in a high cupboard) any foods you don’t want to be a food choice for your kids.  And then simply start offering things that you want them to eat.  Yes, they may throw a fit, yes they may stay at the table for hours, but it won’t last.  It takes a few days and with some it might take a week or so depending on how stubborn they are.  Remember, most kids coming off the American Standard Diet have taste buds that crave things like salt and sugar so it will take a bit for their little taste buds to adjust to the flavors of real food.  But it’s worth it.  Hang in there and join me in starting to make changes to the diets of our little ones.

“Fast and pray, and I mean pray.  Meet with me morning, noon and night.”

And the Lord began to speak. At first I had my typical thought, “Lord, is that you or me?”  but he said, “Fast and pray, and I mean pray.  Meet with me morning, noon and night.” I didn’t think much of it and the teaching went on.  The pastor spoke out of Acts 10.  We talked about Simon Peter and Cornelius…. he was the first Gentile to receive the Holy Spirit, he was a man committed to giving to the poor and he spent regular time with God.  And as a result, Cornelius was able to discern when God was speaking.  Anyway, at the end of the service, our pastor says something to the affect, “Some of you may need to go back to a life of prayer like Daniel had, meeting with the Lord three times a day.”  God had my attention.  He confirmed to my sweet doubting spirit that, yes, He was speaking to me and yes, He was asking me to commit to an intimate season of prayer. 

So then, it doesn’t stop there… I come home, (husband is at the movies).  The Lord brings to mind “The Secret of the Secret Place”, a book my mother-in-law gave me years ago. I found it on my book shelf, opened it up and by page three I was reading about Cornelius, right out of Acts 10, the very sermon I had just heard three hours ago.  Confirmation again of what He’s asking of me!

God always wants the chance to speak and be heard by his childrens but sometimes I think I miss His voice.  I think I set expectations up for the Lord to meet and when He doesn’t speak or act as I was expecting, I think He’s still or silent.  I want to hear Him speak to me daily, I want to be serving and being a part of His work daily but I can’t if I don’t hear Him.  We serve an awesome God who desires to speak to His children all day long.  And this same God has given us incredible power to do His work but we can’t be a part of this if we can’t hear Him.  We can’t obey if we aren’t able to recognize His voice.  It’s easy to do things for God but it’s so much harder to do the things that God wants/needs us to be doing because that requires us to stop, be still and be consistently spending time with Him so that we can discern His voice and know what He’s calling us to do. 

So my prayer was answered. He spoke and praise Him I heard!  I need to be obedient. I’m expecting Him to speak to me as I spend my morning, noon and nights with Him. 

1. To keep strawberries fresh for a long time keep them in a sealed container in the frig with a paper towel in it.
2. To keep leafy greens fresh, store a paper towel in the bag they are kept in (absorbs the moisture).
3. Leave a small bowl of distilled vinegar on the counter to get rid of bad odors.
4. Keep onions in the frig and you won’t have much of a problem with tearing or burning eyes.
5. Distilled vinegar diluted in water makes a great cleaning agent for hardwood floors.
6. Freeze liquids or soups (we eat a lot of them) in freezer bags and flatten them, once frozen they stack nicely and it saves tons of room.
7. Anytime you’re roasting vegetables, potatoes, ect. lay parchment paper down on the baking sheet and it makes clean up a breeze and there’s no sticking.
8. When making cookies, use a 1 inch scooper and scoop all the cookies onto a plate and freeze (I’m talking the raw dough).  Once hardened, about an hour, transfer to a zip lock or container and you always have cookies available.  Just take out however many you need and bake, just add an additional 2-3 min because they are frozen.  This is my favorite tip because it allows us to only cook what we should eat, not what we want to eat which is the entire batch!
8. Dawn dish soap does wonders on hard to clean shower glass doors.
9. Seran wrap is a hard supply to find that actually sticks but the Kirkland brand at Costco is awesome!!!
10. When using fresh ginger root, if you have some left, freeze it.  When you need if for later use, it’s actually easier to use frozen because it grates really easy (just don’t forget to peel it as you use it).
11. Put a penny in the bottom of a vase of tulips and they stand right up.
12. Store mushrooms in a brown paper bag in the frig and they stay fresh much longer. 

That’s all I can think of for now…

The nurse came to get him and he took his 4 year old self right back to the chair all by himself just talking her little ear off.  Thirty minutes goes by and the doctor comes out to talk to me.  He has his glasses dangling off the tip of his nose and he leans slightly towards me and says, “Well, we took x-rays today and Owen has another cavity and we’ve put a watch on some other teeth as well…when we see this in children his age it is usually 99.99% related to diet.”  Seriously, I think my mouth dropped to the floor. Does this man have any idea what my child eats?  Does he have any idea the effort I make to avoid the foods that cause cavities (the ugly pride)?  The nurse looks at me and says, “Aren’t you the mom the makes your own granola bars?”  Apparently that doesn’t really matter. His recommendation, I start letting Owen drink tap water so he starts getting fluoride systemically (which is an entirely separate post in itself)  as well as beginning to use flouride toothpaste.

I am… with a child that has had a runny nose for 16 months due to enlarged adenoids and two cavities before the age of 5.

At the end of the day, I reflected on the fact that I have done all that I can as a mom to feed him right, make his snacks from scratch, avoid sugar and limit flour and processed foods, use pure filtered water and here I am… with a child that has had a runny nose for 16 months due to enlarged adenoids and two cavities before the age of 5.  It was a humbling day. A day to remind me again that I am not in control.  A day to remind me to do what I can but to enjoy life in the process.  A day to remind me to laugh rather than get discouraged with my failed attempts.  A day to dissolve the pride of my efforts and welcome in the humility that I am just me, lacking in strength without His, lacking in wisdom without His word, lacking in humility when I depend solely on myself.  So we’re off to get his cavity filled at the end of the month.  We feel he’s old enough to spit so we’ve added the fluoride toothpaste and as for his diet, still trying to make good choices for my son regardless of what the outcome is. 

Some tips from the dentist if you’re like me and are trying to avoid sugar and processed treats:
Avoid or heavily limit honey, aguave nectar, dried fruit, granola bars (the biggest contributor to cavities he says), and all foods that remotely stick…. Isn’t that fun?

I’m expecting my second son in 11 days… expecting isn’t really the right word, but rather hoping in Him for our second son to come.  We’re adopting and Joshua Jude is due any day.  I remember going into the process and actually have spent most of the process so far expecting to “feel” the love for this child the day I saw his precious face.  Obviously there’s risk in adoption with the birth mom given the right to change her mind for 30 days following the birth, so understandably, being excited and guarding my heart have had their share of fighting for the spotlight. But about two weeks ago, this incredible love that I really can’t explain began to grow in me.  A love that only comes from Him. A love I have tried to muster up in days past but just can’t let my guard down to do so.  It’s been mind blowing.  My thoughts have been just as they were with Owen.  It hasn’t made a difference to me one bit that he’s not growing in me because there’s an incredible sense of peace from the fact that I know God choose this boy to be grafted into our family as our own.  God’s perfect love doesn’t see the lines that we draw into our lives.  God doesn’t put a guard up because He’s afraid that we might not choose Him.  He loves us all the while.  So, for a while I hesitated to post this because my lack of faith would say, “What if”, but God gently reminded me that for the past 7 months He has asked me to love our birth mom and this baby boy, not conditional on the final outcome but unconditionally regardless of the outcome.  I do not know what the next 30 days will hold but the fact that He knows and it is already determined brings me peace. 

God’s love is amazing. He is love.  When He is the source, we can love unconditionally.  But we have to choose Him because He’s already chosen us and loved us all the while…

Keep in mind this email was written to a woman who’s son was diagnosed with Leukemia:

With leukemia, food healing value is lost very quickly in the body so it’s going to be imperative that you keep the diet as nutritious as possible.  The first things I’d do is eliminate sugar, starch and white flour as these things can breed/increase cancer cells.  In my opinion, no matter the disease, the most common approach for a healing diet is a vegan diet, high in plant protein and leafy greens.  The less you cook the food the better.  I realize this might be a challenge for a 5 year old but it can be done or at least attempted as much as possible. (Smoothies and juices will help this) Make sure you give yourself some time and grace to get there. It took me a few months (as an adult) to learn to eat and cook like this. One thing I learned, the simpler the better.

So some things you’ll want to get:
1.  A juicer (Omega 8005 Juicer).  It’s a little more expensive than the Juice Man you can get at Costco but it’s worth it.  It doesn’t waste nearly the amount of fruits/veges and you extract more juice, so it’s cheaper in the long run.

http://www.omegajuicers.com/?gclid=CO_5463ov5YCFRsRagodZWPJyQ

2.  A good blender. I have the Vitamix which is awesome and I use it every day but it’s not a “have to have”, it just makes smoothies like jamba juice!  But a powerful blender is important.

3.  Some books/sites if your interested and ones that I’ve used for years to treat different diseases…
Disease Proof your Child & Eat to LIve by Dr. Joel Fuhrman (this doctor is awesome, he’s actually a doctor I’ve seen and has been a great resource).
Healthy Healing by Linda Page
Fresh Vegetable and Fruit Juices by N. W.  Walker
http://www.fatfreevegan.com (for some recipes if you need them)
http://www.goneraw.com (recipe ideas)

So here’s what I’d aim for.  But real quick I have to share something that I’ve learned and I can’t not share it because it has so impacted my life.  I have done alternative medicine for 15 years and it can really take over your life if you don’t find the balance.  There is time for extreme which might be where you are at right now, the beginning where you need to get a good handle on his diet, but he’s also 5. So don’t be too hard on yourself as you try to incorporate/change his diet and lifestyle.  God is still God and He is still the the one that can do all things that we cannot. So I’m trying to find that place where I do my part and be responsible for my body and healthy eating but also to remember that God needs room to do his part.  So just be careful to not obsess with it, as I did because there’s so much info out there, it can be overwhelming, and as it did me, can take over your life. So all that to say, extend yourself some grace and just do the best you can.

Ok, so here’s what I’d do: (order of importance)
Juicing:
Carrot juice will be your base always so look at Costco, they carry a 5 lb bag of organic carrots and they last a while.  The veges to juice with it…celery, parsley, spinach, beets and tops.  I’ll give you my ratio as an adult so you have an idea of the proportions and you can half it for a child.  4 carrots, 3 celery, 1/2 bunch parsley 1/2 beet and a few tops.  I tend to leave the spinach out a lot because I put it in smoothies (I’ll explain that next).
When you juice, drink it immediately as to not let the nutrients break down. For time sake, I’ve bought freezer bags and made large batches and frozen them in 8 oz packs.  That might be helpful. If you can get him to do this morning and evening that would be awesome.

Smoothies (or blended salads):
These are awesome and my favorite way to get gross things down!  Great for kids because you can hide all sorts of stuff in them. I also freeze them into popsicle molds.
Start with fresh juice if you can. I bought a hand juice extractor, so I can fresh squeeze an orange, quicker than putting it through a juicer.  Or you can juice some apples and use that.  So orange or apple juice for your base, try not to use the store bought concentrates as they are high in the bad sugars.  The only juice I buy on occasion is the real 100% POM juice but it’s expensive, it’s cheaper just to juice an orange.  But it does save a little time.
The best fruits to hide bad flavors…pineapple, strawberries, bananas.  Frozen or fresh. You can really add whatever fruit but I find these are a must for flavor.  Ok, your goal with the smoothies are to add leafy greens but start slow so he adjusts to the tastes.  The best one to start with is spinach and then kale, both are mild.  You will get to adding bok choy, swiss chard, little watercress (maybe, kinda peppery).  I dump in ground flax seed.
Again, my ratio to give you an idea:  juice of one orange, 5 strawberries, handful pineapple, 1/2 banana, 1-2 cups spinach, 3-4 leafs kale, whole head of baby bok choy (they are small when you buy the baby!) 1-2 swiss chard, 2 TBLS flax meal.  It makes about 16-20 oz.  So for your son, do the juice and fruit and maybe start with a cup of spinach.  Increase from there.

Steamed and Raw Veggies:
Think cruciferous and green.  They are the most nutrient dense.  Broccoli, cauliflower, leafy greens, brussel sprouts, asparagus.
In the Disease Proof your Child book he talks about ways to get your kids to switch from the American diet to a more vegan/nutrients dense diet and a suggestion he has is to just put a plate out of raw veges, raw nuts and let them have access to it all day. It went against my scheduled eating plan at first, but really that goes out the window when you start looking at food as medicinal.  So try snap peas, carrots, cherry tomatoes, berries, raw zucchini, string beans, bell peppers.  Raw nuts (great source of good fats) are my sons favorite, I make him trail mix with a bunch of different ones and add some dried cranberries, raisins or cut up dried mangos or apples.

Soups:
These are great because you can make these in large batches and freeze in small portions.  I would make some veggie soups with veggie broth as a base. Add beans and brown rice, and chopped spinach and kale.

Some other things to expose him to to help with the switch:
tofu (in moderation and I do let him dip it in Braggs amino acids (raw soy sauce)), beans (I started just putting 4 or 5 on his plate and asking him to just eat those), 100% whole grains (quinoa, brown rice, brown rice noodles, Ezekiel breads)

Ok, so there are some ideas.  It’s kind of a lot to take in.  The most important to start with is adding the juicing and then the smoothies and eliminating the sugar and flour. If you find the time and energy and desire you can add in and incorporate the other stuff.

Looking back at this email as I was posting it, I will be really honest with you…I did have this lifestyle for about a year, it is hard and takes great amounts of time to live this way.  I took about a 6 month brake from the radicalness of it and am now at a great balance for me and my family.  I very much attempt to eat this way as frequently as I can and I try with my son but do allow grace in the learning curve while he learns new tastes.  We also incorporate small amounts of lean chicken and fish in our dinners and my husband has just agreed to start adding one vegetarian meal a week!  So see, it can be a process to changing your eating and lifestyle, in fact, excluding the extreme disease crisis, it’s easier to make it a permanent lifestyle if you gradually work your way into the changes.  Food for thought!

This verse has spoken volumes to me over the past few weeks I’ve been in Deuteronomy.  Out of their disobedience, the Israelites are in the desert. However, the word says the Lord was leading them in this time.  The Israelites had the incredible privilege of seeing Gods awesome signs, wonders and miracles but they also experienced great trials and suffering.  We know the many stories in the bible about all that God did for His chosen people and yet they seemed to complain and turn to their flesh over and over again. 

I started thinking about what it would be like to be in a “desert” for forty years…that’s a long time to be in a place that God has allowed and that you don’t necessarily want to be.  But then there’s this verse, “During the forty years that I led you through the desert, your clothes did not wear out, nor did the sandals on your feet.”  The Israelites were in a place they didn’t want to be, even though it was a result of their own disobedience, and yet the Lord took care of their needs.  Immediately the Lord brought to mind my own life, my “desert,” my health problems that I’ve had for 16 years and 4 months. I add the months because I’ve just realized I have spent more of my life in this “desert” than out of it. I’m 32 and for the first 16 years I don’t think I had much concern for my health, my future, my dreams and hope that would or wouldn’t come to pass.  But for over 16 years now, my life has been quite the contrary.  Sixteen years feels like a long time to deal with unwanted circumstances yet the Israelites were in the desert for 40 years, the beggar that sat outside the temple gates had been crippled from birth and the woman who touched Jesus’ cloak had been bleeding for 12 years. 

Long suffering and years of unanswered prayer can bring discouragement and hope can dissipate…

 
Long suffering and years of unanswered prayer can bring discouragement and hope can dissipate…if we stay fixed on the time and circumstances, if we keep our minds dwelling on wanting out (and this can even mean devoting all your thoughts and prayers to getting out).  We miss the times when our “clothes did not wear out, nor did the sandals on our feet.”  And those times are still worthy of praise!  These are the times when, maybe our final outcome in our prayer request hasn’t been met, yet our daily bread has been provided for. 

I know from my own experience that since letting go of my circumstances, grieving them and accepting them, I have been able to see my “clothes did not wear out” moments.  A few that God has brought to mind… I’ve had to take a drug that I don’t like taking for my lupus and the side effects of it are ugly, and yet I have not experienced one….I have had times where my labs aren’t normal yet I feel well….I had a miscarriage in April yet God brought an adopted baby into our life that same week…I am not physically healed yet, but the Lord has given me victory over the idol I had made my health….My son was born cross-eyed and has had one surgery (which he was a candidate for multi surgeries) and yet his eye sight has never been affected (very common to have poor eye sight in the eye they don’t dominate with).  I could go on. My point, the Lord desires to take care of our daily needs.  And yes, He is a big God and I don’t stop asking for the desires of my heart (and many of them are big ones). 

Life doesn’t stop when our circumstances don’t change, even if those circumstances may last an earthly lifetime.

But life doesn’t stop when our circumstances don’t change, even if those circumstances may last an earthly lifetime.  God is still working, He’s still blessing and we are to still be giving Him praise and glory for every “clothes did not wear out” moment!  If you’re discouraged right now because your “desert” seems that it’s not coming to an end, ask the Lord to help you lift your eyes to Him and off your “desert”.  Ask Him to show you where your needs are being met, the blessings He is giving you and begin to cultivate a heart of praise for these times.  There are many times where I’ve had to start of my prayer time with “Thou you slay me, I will trust you”.  I have to choose to trust Him with what He’s doing in the areas that He’s not delivering me from/answering, so that I can be involved and present in the areas that He is delivering me from/answering/blessing.  We don’t want to miss these times!  They can encourage your faith just as much as the answers you are waiting on.